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Love is An All or None Thing [entries|friends|calendar]

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[18 Dec 2006|03:38am]
It seems I've abandoned this for so long. Someone I was close to passed away and I haven't been in the mood to write much. But I still read. Even the people who didn't add me back, I read you. I'm waiting on 2007 for things to get better, then maybe I'll be more talkative.
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Cig ash crashes into my soul [02 Dec 2006|09:50am]
Weekend at last! And I'm going to do Nothing like the guy in Office Space. Oh how I've longed for doing Nothing.

In my spare time it seems like I'm going to have to go around and say hello to the people I added here last week because hardly anyone is adding me back. Maybe they don't see me? I'll try. I am going to surf communities more to look for even more people I think.

Also with the Nothing I have a bunch of old old old old movies to watch, and I need to try and rescue the plant I have in my room during the winter when it's not growing and I can work on it. I have a brown thumb, and brown toes. Actually, I'm just brown. But that's b/c my mom is Latino. Even though I'm very much basic Americano. Northern California borned and raised, in the monkeybars is where I spent most of my days. Then I got one little EPT and my mom got scared. So I stayed in my room and went on the pill. Fresh Zipperzoomer of Nevada City. What up my brownies?

Speaking of which I should make MJ Brownies this weekend as well. Which go well with figs.

My feet hurt. Cuz I walked too much this week. I got a new shirt that's very hippie though I don't think it was meant to be. I should take a pic of it and post it soon. I need to get back into using my camera more. I take a lotta pics, mostly nature or the city, but I never upload them. I rarely do Me but I should more often if I'm gonna use this thing more because it seems like people online like to see who they are talking at sometimes.
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Potty Mouth [30 Nov 2006|12:44pm]
Latest news: I have marryjewanna! I have to pee. There's a cobweb on my bed. I'm not very interesting.

Add me back! Deleted old, Added new. I refuse to use this thing in isolation!


I'm stoned.
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Alarm goes off in my head [30 Nov 2006|12:03pm]
heart break heart break heartbreak heartbreakheartbreakheartbreak
lust. lust. lust.
drugs&alcohol ah ah ahhh


"i need you"
"i don't want you"
"not anymore"

"i can't
i don't want to try
i won't do it
i'm not good enough"

I'm looking elsewhere. It is an undefined place... so beautiful...

"you were so beautiful once. what happened?"
"the world, man; it wears you down."
"try to smile once in a while. you're so pretty when you smile."

Looking up, I see the cracks. They've been there for a while now.


shin y t r an s l u ce n t s H ARd S

"FUCK! god DAMN IT!"
"what happened?
... i'm so sorry..."
"just get out while you still can."
"but i wa--"
"just get out."

bloody fingertips s w e e p i n g linoleum

tick. tock. tick. tock.

"Reporters say the victim jumped from the third-story window into a pit of jelly donuts, after the circus elephants set fire to the laboratory. Police warn that the tightrope walkers will strike again..."

And to think, you actually thought you had a choice...

"This is already the second time this month that the bearded lady has been accused of harassing the aligator farmer..."

Yeah, you just keep grinning like that.

"The owner says he will not give the audience any discounts, even though the tigers broke from their cages minutes before their debut, and the masses are displeased--"

See? I told you you were dead.
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Is it a poem or not? I don't know. [26 Nov 2006|09:21am]
It's disgusting.
his ability to smile so often,
his strength,
very unfamiliar.


Yeah, thats it.
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Update Type Thing [22 Nov 2006|06:15am]
I went out to see "Stranger than Fiction" yesterday, and it was great, save for the ending. I won't give it away, but the ending wasn't as surprising as I expected. The overall movie has real personality; very unique. It's inspired me to write more.

What else...

Damn, this song creeps me out. I love it. Too bad LJ won't let me type the full name into the music slot (it's insanely long), but listen to this:
God Speed You! Black Emperor - Static: Terrible Canyons Of Static / Atomic Clock / Chart #3 / World Police And Friendly Fire / ...The Buildings They Are Sleeping Now

It's 22 minutes and 34 seconds of pure power.
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Visions [12 Nov 2006|04:02pm]
What is it about him?
I'll never know.

(I think i saw a glimpse of it tonight.)
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Excerpt from Brave New World [11 Nov 2006|05:55pm]
"Did you eat something that didn't agree with you?" asked Bernard.

The Savage nodded. "I ate civilization."


"It poisoned me; I was defiled. And then," he added in a lower tone, "I ate my own wickedness."
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Need new friendings. [10 Nov 2006|01:45pm]
No one even reads this fucking thing.
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Bleach Me Away [01 Nov 2006|11:13pm]
I am so tired of the constant fear i live in.

Fear of backstabbing.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of talking.
Fear of hurting.
Fear of pain.
Fear of leaving.
Fear of being alone.
Untalented reasoning.
Fear is encompassing me again.

Why is it people will decide to completely blow you off guard all at once???

Do they plan this?

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[28 Oct 2006|10:06am]
And would someone present something new and authentic for once?

Society needs to stop making out with pictures of old renaissance men and start becoming the principals of the new-schools.
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Listings [20 Oct 2006|11:27am]
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I think everything is

Caffine slut

My favourite sacred cute most awesome animals

Hippies are groovy

Led zeppelin:
robert plant mmm they rock

Make believe:
Hate reality

Used to be my scent

Write it read it and love it
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Broken Girl is Me [18 Oct 2006|10:06am]
You havent been yourself,
broken. Youre broken.

"I cant fix you"

And you know, its true.
I tried so hard but I can't stop trying
Oh my love.

I'm sorry. I love you.
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Red Yellow Green [16 Oct 2006|05:23pm]
I got a ticket this past monday for running a red, when I really ran a yellow and saw it turn red in my rearview. But what the police fail to realize is that I am not guilty of this until proven so on the date of the hearing, which is the 15th of next month. I will be attending this hearing to fight this ticket.

Isn't the justice system so great!
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And the Survey Says... [14 Oct 2006|11:24am]
Sequential bisexual: 5
Concurrent bisexual: 3
Homosexual with some heterosexuality: 3
Past heterosexual, currently homosexual: 3
Heterosexual with some homosexuality: 2
Homosexual: 1
Asexual: 0
Heterosexual: 1
Past homosexual, currently heterosexual: 0
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[13 Oct 2006|10:55pm]
I lied when I told him I didn't want him anymore.
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Hello Walls [01 Oct 2006|10:59am]
For the past hour I've been sitting on my bed, staring at the wall in tears, listening to a bunch of old school 60s, feeling really out of place.

I can't tell you how close I am to ordering a bus ticket to New York, or maybe Miami, right now. Either one. I don't care.

I'm tempted to drop every thing I have. The thought of putting effort into any more of this is terrifyingly unbearable, and I just don't know what to do with myself. Getting the fuck out of here immediately sounds like the only good plan.

If I disappear, well, you should have known me before I left.

P.S. Boys suck.
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13th Wonders of the World Unite [25 Sep 2006|11:11am]
I wonder if mexican dick tastes like taco?

I wonder if mexican taco tastes like salad.

I wonder if i'm ever going to have sex again.
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Updatey [18 Sep 2006|09:13pm]
Well this week was an intresting week i dunno.

One of my "friends" said I changed alot that i act more druggy and that im turning into a hippie which I found really insulting b/c it held "hippie" in a bad connotation.

Me and Steph went to the park last night and hung out with Darnell Quadell and D~Nice

I think Shela and Steph might come over tonight and I think we might go find some parties! well I got to go nothing else to update on.

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[30 Aug 2006|01:46am]
I never use this thing. I dunno why it's here. No one ever adds me back and I just take them off or leave them if I like reading their LJ, but no one adds me.
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